o..the KERNEL..o

Hmmm.. ya..

So let me recap the day..
I got on the subway for the first time in like 5yrs
.. childhood memories rode through my mind as I watched passengers load on and off the train. Life was such an adventure as a child now it just feels like a struggling one.

Exiting off at the Dundas stop I wondered the Eaton center. Feeling alone even with Sarah by my side I was lost... even make-up didn't cheer me up. My sushi lunch didn't sit well either.

Strolling through the mall with a long face, Sarah patted my back.. "your no fun to shop with anymore" she said. No I guess I'm not I thought. I hated everything that was hanging from the racks. I cant stand the site of teenage girls wearing expensive clothes there hard working parents paid for that they don't even appreciate but wear to fit in with there peers. Was I like that at that age? Sarah locked an arm with mine, warm I smiled inside. She is just as unhappy as I am. Why this call for unhappiness.. when there is no reason for me to be unhappy. How can I be so insecure.. so unsure. I bought some Kernels popcorn for my mom as we left the mall an headed back onto the subway home.

Mother was extremely excited to see the popcorn in my hand "Remember when you were a little girl an I would buy us popcorn for the train ride home from the Eaton Center", "Yes mom, that's why I bought it" her mouth now full of the mouth watering caramel popcorn, I recall the days when she would make my day of filling my stomach up on the puffed kernels. I made her day today! I wished she could have come on the subway with me today.

some photos from last night.. sarah trying to cheer me up by sleeping over an making me do her make-up, Sarah tells me I'm better then the make-up artist they hired at her work and that shes showed them pics of my make-up designs..but I think she just tells me that for some kinda confidence in myself.

.Girls will be Girls.