o..and she smoked..o
Saturday, February 05, 2005
"MOMS BACK!!!" my sister shouted. I turned around from washing the car in the driveway and looked over to where she and my mom stood on the front porch steps. Is my mom smoking? I asked myself.. holy FUCK I thought.. she is smoking. Back?? Smoking is what Jill meant. They stood on the porch gabbing like old times with cigarettes in hand. What is she doing I thought.. its been nine months with no smokes.. shes going for cancer testing in one month from now. I was so upset to see her smoking.. but it apparently made my sister Jills bday party. Has she been smoking behind my back?
I stood in the kitchen glaring at her.. "why were you smoking?" I asked. "I need something in my life Carrie, I have decided to take smoking up again" she replied. I don't understand. I don't even know what to write about it. I'm just very angry. How can she smoke after everything she has went through the past year? Why am I always feeling like the parent with everyone..
Well besides my sisters day being made by having a smoke buddy again.. I hardly felt like celebrating after this. Jill loved her cake since she now always demands my cake making. I think it was the best part of her bday, shes like a lil girl when it comes to cake an prezzies. Her husband did nothing for her yesterday.. not even a card.. or a happy fucking birthday for that matter. Pathetic!! But that's another story...
and to think today was the first day this week I woke up happy.