Wednesday, January 12, 2005
"Look at my scars, Look at my scars" she proudly announced, standing half naked in my bedroom doorway. A good spirit she was in this morning, something I don't see often anymore. My mother has healed up beautiful on the outside, its her insides that worry me. March 7th four days after her bday we will be checking in to St Josephs for full body testing again! *crosses fingers*
I didn't post much about my mothers' lung Cancer last year, I tried most days to deny the fact that she had cancer until several days before her surgery and like always I allowed it to bottle up inside me. Except one night coming out of Futureshop after work there was a young employee standing outside the front doors having a cigarette.. and I lost it on a complete stranger.. Reaming him out of how bad Cigarettes are. His face was blank and I walked to my car in complete tears. My mind was so troubled with my health.. my love life.. my siblings worry and my mothers pain, which all numbed me to the core.. I didn't know I was breathing most days. I hope this time around is better then the last.